Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
