I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
