He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
