Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
