Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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