In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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