I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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