I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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