we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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