epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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