Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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