My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
