Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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