so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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