WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
