Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
