We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
