Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Drake has all the answers
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
