Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
