its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
