Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
