I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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