make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
