Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Damn victory sex feels great
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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