this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
