The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
