wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
