i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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