so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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