Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
