Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think I died a long time ago.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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