I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
