She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
