My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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