how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
