i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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