How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
