I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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