Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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