you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
