id be glad to
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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