You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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