So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There are leaves in my underwear?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
