i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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