their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
