VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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