I have demons in me.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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