no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
