Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
