Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
