Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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