I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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