My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
