So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize