There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
