i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
