she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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