if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize