found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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