i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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