just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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