these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And then my night got REAL pukey
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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