I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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